I was very upset yesterday. Upset, disappointed and just heartbroken at the realisation that my dream and everything that I had sacrificed and worked so hard for, was not going to come to fruition. I felt bitter and disheartened at the idea that maybe hard work would not be rewarded. It was a tough day. I’ve learnt so much over the years about how to command my thought process, to flip negative and unhealthy thoughts and change them into positive motivators. But that day, I did not want to be positive or strong or move forward. I just wanted to be sad.
I woke up this morning and instead I chose to be grateful. Grateful for the incredible people I have around me: my family, who has rallied together to support me and suited up and gone into battle without a second thought; my boyfriend who has met me at the most tumultuous (read: emotional and sensitive - sorry!) time of my life and who has constantly supported (and flown to see) me through it all anyways, my coaches/ psychologist who have gone above and beyond and have always reframed the situation and helped me to keep moving forward and who have an unwavering belief in me and where I am going; my best friends - who check in on me constantly and support me despite being all over the world.
I. Am. Blessed.
Very blessed. Most people do not have the luxury of so much love. So today, I’m choosing to be thankful and see everything that I do have, instead of everything that I don’t. Because what I have is a lot.
For some reason, this is not my time and it was not meant to be. But my time will come. I refuse to mark this down as a failure — this is simply the beginning. For whatever reason, things have not gone to plan. I can tell you right now, that the hardest thing to do is to change direction once you’ve set your goals. My goal hasn’t changed, but how I am going to get there is going to have to. Find the courage and confidence to reevaluate, change what you’re doing and keep going.
I know I am only at the start of my journey and I have so much more to give, learn and grow. I am deciding to be relentless in my pursuit. That’s how you avoid failure. You decide not to fail. You decide to keep going, and instead look for the unexpected option that keeps your situation in control. Your control. Because you are always in control of your journey and your destiny. Establish your own vision. Create your own definition of what it means to be unstoppable. What does your gut tell you about what you should be doing, who you’re going to be and how you’re going to succeed?
“When someone else says you’ve failed, what they really mean is ‘If that were me, I would feel like a failure.’ Well, that guy’s not you.” - Relentless, Tim Grover
If you have ever felt like you have failed, choose different. Decide that you have not failed and keep going. Don’t accept that it is over, and it will not be.